Frozen pipes, peeps!

Another tale of woe from the Great White North, this one happened to me on Sunday, Jan. 20th. Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent... namely ME. LOL

ENJOY!

OK, I am wiggin' here!! I wake up this morning and there is no cold water in the kitchen. I am like, WTF? There's hot water but no cold, plus the toilet and sink work just fine upstairs. So I call my next door neighbor, John, (and unfortunately wake him up, dammit!) and as soon as I tell him what is up, in his best lawyer voice he says, "You have frozen pipes, that's an emergency, call G right away."

Now let me clarify here by saying that not only is G my landlady's son, he also works for the power company, so he handles all of her tenants' heating and plumbing issues. Oh, and did I mention he is also the mayor of our fair city? ;-) I voted for him in the last election, but did I get a discount on my rent?! Nooooooo! But I digress....

So I call G and I have to leave a message because no one answers. In fact, I'm not even sure I have dialed the right number because the message on their machine is one of those generic computerized ones. So then I call my landlady, Mrs. B because I am thinking, what if G is out of town or something? My pipes could stay frozen 'til doomsday (or at the very least, April!).

While I am on the phone with her, G's wife calls and says G is in the shower and he will call me back. I go upstairs to the bathroom (shrewdly taking the phone with me!) and sure enough G calls when I am seated on the throne, asks me a couple of questions, and says he will be right over. So by now I am rushing around the house in a panic because everything is a mess, I am not dressed, and I know he is going to be at my door any minute! LOL So I throw on my clothes that I had out for church (which I did not go to again, BTW, even though I was supposed to acolyte this week!!) and try to pick up and hide a few things.

Then I call Father H. to tell him what is going on and that I can't come to church. He is very nice about it, but keeps going on and on and I can't get him off the line. Then while I am still on the phone with him, G pulls up out front in his truck. My heart sinks to the hardwood floor. Luckily, he doesn't come right over here though, which gives me enough time to get the chatty priest off the line and toss some more clutter in a drawer. It looked like G went to his brother C's house next door first, maybe to get a tool (ha-ha! pun intended...) or something else he needed.

So then he comes in alone, minus the half-expected and definitely dreaded brother in tow, stomping snow all over with his big boots, looks under the sink and heads down to the basement. Then he comes up and wants to check to see if there is cold water to the washer. Well shee-it, folks, I had clean laundry stretched out on top of it plus unfolded (albeit clean!) undies and stuff on top of the dryer!!! I was dying! I said oh, it's kind of a mess in there, but he was already opening the door. So guess what? The mayor of MP has now seen my underwear!!!! LMAO

I quickly whisk the clean clothes off the top of the washer and run them upstairs. Then when I come back down, G is already through in the laundry room and has been down in the basement again. He tells me the pipes are frozen somewhere under the house and asks me if I have another portable radiator. I tell him I have one upstairs and I offer to get it, altho I say it's heavy and comment that I would freeze to death if it weren't for those.

He seems to think the better of it and decides he will go look around for something else to use. So I quickly grab my undies and such off the dryer, toss them in a basket and take them upstairs! LOL

When I go in the bathroom again I see the small electric space heater in there and go, duh! I didn't even think of offering him that one and it is much smaller and lighter. So I bring it down and look out front to see if his truck is still there. It is. And then I hear him in the basement on the stairs by the crawlspace. I take the heater to him and he says he hasn't found anything else to use. He seems to like the one I bring him and he sticks it inside the crawlspace and plugs it into an outlet right outside of the opening.

So that's where we stand right now. That heater kinda scares me and I only ever use it when I am taking a shower or at least home to keep an eye on it. Needless to say, I am not too thrilled at the idea of leaving it run all day while I am at work, plus the damn expense! So I don't know what to do. Maybe the pipes will be thawed by the time I have to leave for work.

Read on for the thrilling conclusion...