Good riddance to 2013!

In just a few short hours, 2013 will be history and what a terrible year it was. :-( To top it all off, I find myself once again unemployed, having been launched today from the Soup Nazi Kitchen and Devil's Deli. My now former boss didn't even have the common courtesy to tell me my services would no longer be required. I had to call her today to find out why I was not scheduled to work at all this entire week. So ridiculous!!
The awesome news is that I have an interview this Friday for a public relations specialist position with the local chamber of commerce!! I soooo need this job, so please say a prayer for me dear readers!!
I wish all of you a happy, healthy and blessed new year! 

Have yourself a merry little Christmas!

Well, not only do I have Christmas Eve off, but the store is closed on Christmas Day and I have the 26th off, too. Woo-hooo!! I am so glad I will be able to spend Christmas at my friend's house after all. :-D
I am also thankful I don't have to go in to work today as we are supposed to get 5-8 more inches of snow and it looks like 1-2 inches fell overnight. The wind is howling out there as well, making my wind chimes rattle around like crazy.
I worked from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. yesterday and naturally the store was a madhouse because of the approaching holiday. There were tons of customers to wait on and I was proud of myself for figuring out a couple of things I had never had to deal with before all on my own. But that doesn't seem to matter to my boss, who accused me of deliberately disobeying her because I didn't get all of the meat cut on the cart in the walk-in fast enough. 
She also told me in a most ominous tone that I MUST work more quickly and that I had done a poor job on the meat case because many of the trays were so low. (Never mind the fact that probably 50 customers had been buying meat that morning, depleting the supply I had just replenished.) It appears that she thinks I am lazy, when I can assure you, unlike almost everyone else who works in that dept., I am busting my ass every second I am there. 
It's very disheartening (and somewhat puzzling) to be treated in this fashion and I am planning to bolt the first chance I get. I have applied for a really good full-time job with the local chamber of commerce, but learned Friday that I won't be hearing anything from them until after the holidays. So unless I get one of the other part-time gigs for which I have recently applied, I will have to suffer at the Nazi Soup Stand and Devil's Deli for a few more weeks. May God give me strength! 

Hobbit-forming!

It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him. [...] His rage passes description - the sort of rage that is only seen when rich folk that have more than they can enjoy suddenly lose something that they have long had but have never before used or wanted. His fire belched forth, the hall smoked, he shook the mountain-roots. [...] He issued from the Gate, the waters rose in fierce whistling steam, and up he soared blazing into the air and settled on the mountain-top in a spout of green and scarlet flame.

Beware! Smaug is coming to Lake-town TODAY!!!

Painting by Greg Hildebrandt called "Dragon's Revenge" depicting Smaug's destruction 

of Esgaroth (aka Lake-town). He and his identical twin brother, Tim, created amazing 
art that was featured in a series of J.R.R. Tolkien wall calendars in the 1970s.

Halflings meet halfwits

From my Facebook wall on Dec. 6, 2012:
He did let Stephen Colbert pass the other night on The Colbert Report. Anyone catch that? Stephen was on his way over to the other side of the studio to interview Andy Serkis and Ian McKellen popped out with his staff and said, "YOU SHALL ... pass." And then he bowed and moved out of the way. It was priceless. LOL
  

Gwig had a hobbit garden in 2012 in Pet Society.

LEGO my Sindarin Elf!

I am going to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug next 

Thursday, Dec. 19, with my friend Claire. Can't wait!!

New month, new challenges

Well, it's December now and Christmas creeps ever closer with each passing moment. For the third consecutive year, it looks like I will be spending it at a friend's house up here, which will be very nice. She lives outside of Washburn, way up on a hill overlooking Lake Superior. A beautiful setting ... unless you're driving a 1997 Pontiac with bald tires. LOL 
Last year on Christmas night, my car did a 180 on the way home from her house and ended up in the ditch. (And before you ask, Stan, I was stone cold sober because I had already been anxious about the drive home. LOL) The temperature was hovering right around zero degrees and this happened on an isolated gravel road a few miles from her house. I really thought that was going to be it for me. I knew I would freeze to death before I ever made it back to her house on foot (plus, I know I couldn't have made it up that steep, winding goat path she calls a driveway). I did have plenty of gas in the tank, so maybe I could've made it through the night or until some kind stranger happened by. 
However, it was truly a Christmas miracle because even though my car is famous for getting hopelessly stuck in similar situations, I took a deep breath, calmed down, said a prayer and was able to drive that sucker right out of the ditch and back onto the road -- going the opposite direction now, of course! I was too freaked out to even think about trying to turn around, so I just went that way, a much longer route, back to Highway 13 north of Washburn and eventually, despite being pretty shook up, I made it home safe. 
I was sure the car had to be totally damaged on the side or underneath, but I just kept going and didn't get out to look until I was in the garage at home. To my amazement, I could see nothing wrong with the car! No dents, no mangled fender or quarter-panel, nothing!! I drove it the rest of the winter and when I finally did have someone look at it in May (when winter was almost over up here!), they said everything was fine. Thank you, Lord!!
Needless to say, I am not too anxious to repeat that frightening experience, so when Claire invited me again this year to spend Christmas with her and her family, I politely refused, explaining that my car is another year older as are its tires, since I have been unable to buy new ones as I had planned before becoming unemployed. Kind soul that she is, she promptly offered to give me a ride out there after she finishes with work around noon on Christmas Eve and I am going to spend the night! That way we can both have a few cocktails worry-free!! LOL The only problem I foresee now is this: I HAVE A NEW JOB!!!!
Yes, that is the other point of this post. As of Thursday, I am now a trainee at the Super One Foods deli here in Ashland. LOL It's only part-time, but I am afraid it may interfere with my holiday plans. My normal hours will be 3-9 p.m. and I don't know what days I will be working that week, so we shall see. I can't exactly ask for any time off since I am the new kid on the block, but I am really hoping the planets align for me on this one and I get to have my Christmas cheer with Claire. 
I start the new gig tomorrow at 8 a.m. (yuk!) and will be going in early this week for training. So far I am scheduled to work three days this week, but my new boss, Kim, said she will probably have me work next weekend as well since that is when they really need the help. I am just hoping I can handle such a big change because I am definitely not used to being on my feet all day and haven't worked a job like this in decades. Wish me luck cuz I am gonna need it, folks!!

PS. I am now at 20,000 hits for this blog and counting!! Thank you, dear readers! 

Passing parade of gasbags

I always enjoy watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and managed to do so again this year, thanks entirely to NBC. I initially tried watching the annual festivities on CBS because their broadcast began an hour earlier. However, after putting up with truly the worst parade coverage I have ever seen in my life, I was only too happy to switch over to NBC, where at least viewers actually got to see the friggin' parade!! 
The hapless hosts on CBS spent the majority of their airtime interviewing one lame-ass celebrity after another and plugging that individual's current TV show, movie or book, rather than letting viewers see the things they tuned in for in the first place, like the marching bands, colorful floats and giant character balloons.
Speaking of the latter, I am posting here a few examples of the airborne awesomeness on display in the 87th annual Macy's parade through the streets of Manhattan.

The above balloon depicting Finn and Jake from Cartoon Network's Adventure Time 

series marked the first time the legendary duo from the Land of Ooo 

were featured in the event.

This new Snoopy balloon was another highlight of the 2013 Thanksgiving Day parade.

This Spongebob behemoth is from the 84th annual parade in 2010, but I love this picture so I thought I would include it. This year Spongebob wore a Santa hat.

There were fears ahead of today's parade that predicted high winds could ground the colorful air show, but the balloons were allowed to fly though they were kept low and on very tight leads. According to NewYork.com: "An incident with a Cat in the Hat balloon in 1997, in which it got out of hand and knocked down a portion of a lamppost and injured four spectators was the impetus for the balloon grounding guidelines. Sixteen of the biggest balloons (among them SpongeBob, Pikachu and Spider-Man) will be deflated and sent back to New Jersey if winds are as predicted. Smaller balloons will likely proceed as planned. According to Macy’s the balloons were only grounded once in 1971."

This Spiderman shot is also from a past Macy's parade, but I thought it was cool!

Last one: A ground-level view of two of this year's best!

Get crackin', Mr. Mayor, and just resign already!

The limited edition Mayor Rob Ford bobblehead bong!

For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past couple of weeks, Toronto has a looney-tunes mayor named Rob Ford who has been making quite a name for himself while embarrassing his city at the same time. Following repeated denials stretching back to May, he finally admitted last week that he has smoked crack cocaine (once, he says) after police obtained a video of him hitting a crack pipe. Ford's lame explanation was that he did it while in "a drunken stupor", as if that somehow excused his bad behavior. 
In August, His Dishonor told reporters after delivering a speech at a fitness center (I can't imagine what Chris Farley-lookalike Ford was doing there!) that he has "smoked a lot" of pot and new allegations have arisen during the ongoing police investigation that he has bought illegal drugs in the past two years. (See excerpt from CNN story below.)
Despite the admissions of drug use and all of his other shenanigans, which have included being "hammered" at a street festival in August and "out of control" drunk at city hall during St Patrick's Day celebrations last year, Ford remains defiant and has refused to resign. 
A few days after he admitted smoking crack, a three-minute video surfaced on the Internet showing Ford, 44, stumbling around someone's dining room, ranting and raving in an incoherent manner, wildly gesticulating and threatening to kill someone at the top of his voice. You must see this to believe it! LOL
Then yesterday the Toronto City Council tried to force him to take a leave of absence to get some help. That didn't work either...

From CNN:

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admitted during a heated City Council debate Wednesday that he had bought illegal drugs in the past two years, but he firmly refused to step down from his job even after nearly every councilor stood up to ask him to take a leave of absence.
The mayor made the confession under direct questioning by a councilor who has introduced a motion that would ask Ford to take a leave of absence and get help for his admitted drug use. Ford publicly admitted last week that he smoked crack cocaine last year in a "drunken stupor," but his comments Wednesday marked the first time he acknowledged having bought illegal drugs.
Ford paused for a long time after Councilor Denzil Minnan-Wong asked him if he had bought illicit narcotics in the past two years.
Then Ford replied, "Yes I have."
"I understand the embarrassment that I have caused. I am humiliated by it," Ford said.
But he then turned defiant, saying he was not an addict of any sort and rebuffed suggestions from council members that he should seek help. He insisted he is a "positive role model for kids who are down and out."

Later in the afternoon, Ford tried to introduce a motion calling for all City Council members to undergo drug and alcohol testing, which the council responded to with derisive laughter.
And not only does Ford have his big fat head planted firmly in the sand, but obviously his entire family is in denial. Last Thursday, Ford's mother and sister told a Toronto television station he would not resign.
"It isn't like it has affected his work," said Ford's sister, Kathy.
Asked whether she thought her brother was an alcoholic, she responded: "It depends on what you consider an alcoholic." How do you like that shit?!
Anyway, you can watch a really awesome music video about him here. Created by DJ Steve Porter, the minute-and-a-half-long video features mashed-up clips of Ford set to a really catchy tune. I highly recommend it! LMAO!!!

Wot's on the telly?

The cast of Last Tango in Halifax features (from left) Sarah Lancashire, Anne Reid, 

Sir Derek Jacobi and Nicola Walker

I have long been a fan of British telly and count many programs produced across the pond among my favorites. This fall a new show airing on PBS has caught my fancy and despite the somewhat ill-fitting and misleadingly racy title -- Last Tango in Halifax -- has proven to be well-written and very well-acted. 
The six-part series stars Derek Jacobi (of I, Claudius, Cadfael and Dead Again fame) and Anne Reid (whom I don't believe I had ever heard of before) as a couple of old-age pensioners who knew each other and were in love as teenagers. Through the magic of Facebook, the widowed pair begin corresponding 60 years later, eventually meet for tea and fall in love all over again. It all sounds very sweet and so it is, but there are plenty of complications along the way which offer interesting dramatic conflict and hilarious consequences.
Set in Yorkshire, in the north of England, the gorgeous scenery, thick Geordie accents and other regional dialects are another reason to watch. At least they are for me because I love that kind of thing. :-) I was very pleased to hear that Season 1 was so well-received that filming for the second season was completed this summer.

_______________________________________________________

Another truly great series I discovered recently (this one thanks to my friend Carolyn in Mineral Point) is the Australian program Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. Set in 1920s-era Melbourne, it details the misadventures of a feisty heiress and self-styled lady detective called Phryne (pronounced "fry-nee") Fisher. 

Essie Davis as the glamorous and courageous private detective Phryne Fisher

The 13-part series boasts some pretty high production values and the interplay between the large regular cast of characters is a joy to behold, especially the banter between Miss Fisher and the reluctant policeman forced to work with her, Insp. Jack Robinson. Based on the books by Kerry Greenwood, each episode stands alone; however, there is also a continuing back story involving a psychotic killer and Miss Fisher's younger sister who disappeared when they were children.
Here's another aspect of the program that I enjoy: The show's co-producer Fiona Eagger told a writer for If Magazine, "Phryne is one of the first feminists. She chooses to live alone, she chooses not to get married. She's got many lovers. She's a bit of a James Bond action hero – she's much better dressed than James Bond though." (Source: Wikipedia)
This Aus-some show has also been renewed for a second season so there are plenty more mysterious murders ahead for Miss Fisher, Dot, Mr. Butler, Inspector Robinson and the others. 

Helping Miss Fisher with her inquiries are (from left) Nathan Page as Det. Insp. Jack Robinson, Hugo Johnstone-Burt as Constable Hugh Collins, Ashleigh Cummings as 

Miss Fisher's maid Dorothy "Dot" Williams and Phryne herself, of course.

Feliz Dia de los Muertos!

This blog entry is especially for Stan White (6 Feet Under) 

aka Santa Muerte. ;-)

Being the rebel that he is, Stan has a soft spot in his enlarged heart for all things Santa Muerte, even though it is frowned upon by the Roman Catholic faith in which we both were schooled during our formative years. I have always liked the Halloween-like aspect of this feast day and was pleased when it was featured as a theme one week on the now-defunct Facebook game Pet Society. There was a whole slew of items players could purchase to decorate their pet's home, including wallpapers, rugs, doors, windows, wall hangings, furniture, and stuffed animals or "plushies" as they were known in Pet Society parlance. There were also special food items such as colorful candy skulls. (And no, before you ask, Stan, they weren't FREE. LMAO!) 
Anyway, the evil powers that be over at EA Games decided earlier this year they needed to free up some space on their servers so they did away with Pet Society, thereby murdering all of our virtual pets. This caused quite a backlash from the loyal players (including yours truly) and there is an ongoing campaign to try to bring the game back in some form. 
Above are a few photos of my dearly missed pet, Gwig, and others enjoying Dia de los Muertos in style. I have also included one of the Mayor of Pet Society feeling the wrath of the millions of pissed off and disappointed players. ;-) Although he was likely a victim of corporate greed along with all of the other residents of Pet Society, the Mayor unfortunately seemed to bear the brunt of a lot of the players' outrage over the demise of the game.  
Below is the 2011 banner announcing Day of the Dead Week in Pet Society:

Have a spooky Samhain!!!

Here's wishing you and yours a very ghastly 

All Hallow's Eve!!! 

If you get the chance during this undoubtedly busy day, I recommend taking a moment to check out this year's interactive Google Halloween doodle. You get to be a potion-stirring witch, cooking up a variety of fun and scary results. Dig it: http://news.cnet.com/8301-1023_3-57610125-93/googles-halloween-doodle-turns-you-into-a-witch/

And now a few apt lines from the Scottish play:

Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.
Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin’d.
Harpier cries:—’tis time! ’tis time!
Round about the cauldron go;
In the poison’d entrails throw.—

Toad, that under cold stone,
Days and nights has thirty-one;
Swelter’d venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot!

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;

Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing,—

For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

Thrills and chills

Less than a week to go now until All Hallow's Eve. ;-) Tonight I am going on a "Terror Tour" at Prentice Park here in Ashtown scared up by the AHS Drama Dept. The students will be performing scenes from the classic novels The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Dracula, among others. It should be a chilling evening in more ways than one since the wind is really gusting and the temperature is already down in the low 40s. I am planning to bundle up in my winter coat and come to think of it, I should dig out my gloves. 

The house is now sold, the sign is gone from the front yard and, by all accounts, no one is being evicted. We have been told that the rent will remain at the same amount through 2014, the house will be painted next spring and the roof is going to be replaced, perhaps even this fall. Added bonus: the new owners have stated they will be snowblowing our sidewalks this winter! A grateful sigh of relief was heaved by yours truly on all points.

In other news, I managed to sell my century-old barrister bookcase along with a good-sized pile of leatherbound tomes, so I now have next month's rent payment in the bank with some cash to spare. :-)

Cat on a hot tin pumpkin

It's only a couple of weeks away now, boys and girls! I hope you're all deciding on costumes and mailing out greeting cards like me. I only hope the ghost of Chester Weger doesn't rise out of the pumpkin patch and scare the bejeebers out of all of the trick-or-treaters! Why did the parole board decide to ruin Halloween by holding the hearing on Oct. 31st? LOL

LEGO my vintage collectibles

I recently decided to sell my lifetime collection of vintage LEGO sets after seeing some of the prices being asked for them on eBay. I really don't want to mess with shipping and I don't have an eBay account, so right now I have them posted on Craigslist. I am hoping someone within driving distance will want to buy them. ;-)

I have three large boxes full of LEGO sets of all sizes from a wide variety of themes, including Classic Castle and Space Systems, Forestmen, Fright Knights, Dragon Masters, Wolf Pack, Blacktron, M-Tron, Futuron, Space Police, Ice Planet, Life on Mars and Time Cruisers. All of the sets are complete, have the original boxes and instructions, and are in very good condition. Most of the boxes have been (carefully) opened, however, so they aren't in "mint" condition. Still, some of the sets I have are considered rare and many are 20-25 years old.

If you're curious, check out my ad: http://duluth.craigslist.org/clt/4125830977.html

Time of the season

So today I had to drive back over to Washburn to peddle some of my books in an attempt to make the next rent payment here on Chapple Avenue. After raking in a grand total of $125 (I must admit I was hoping for at least $200), I headed north on Highway 13, turned down Houghton Falls Road and snapped these neat pix. Well, I think they're pretty nifty anyway. :-)

Autumn drive in Bayfield County

I splurged on a full tank of gas this week and decided to expend some of that precious fuel today on a scenic drive along County Highway C, heading northwest of Washburn. The fall foliage was in full bloom and I had my trusty Nikon Coolpix along with me. Above are three of those I deemed among my best shots. :-)

The morgue is open

Foreword: The following is taken from a series of scathing emails penned by yours truly chronicling the steady downward trajectory of the local newspaper. Since my unscheduled departure at the end of June, the pathetic powers that be have continued and even escalated their bloody-minded mission to kill off this historic publication. Read it and weep! 

Land of Ash Coroner's Report

Name of deceased: The Daily Press

Known aliases: Ashland Daily Press, The Daily Mess, The Daily Distress, The Daily Joke

Last known address: 100 block of West Turd Street

Cause of death: Brutal homicide

Main Suspect: Doofus Thornbird

Accomplices: Toad Coitus, Towanda Moolah

Detailed autopsy

For the second time in less than a month, Page 1 starts off with a glaring mistake in the date at the top: "Saturday, Sept. 21, 2013, 2013". Someone must have used the Saturday template from two weeks ago and didn't notice the error ... again. 

The top story is a feature by Kyle F'inn Jones with submitted photos, in other words, another badly rewritten press release that fell into his lap of luxury. The article is about a Bayfield retiree (Hmmm, he is retired at 53? Must be fucking nice!) paddling around the Apostle Islands in an inflatable kayak. In typical Jones style, the cutline on the main photo refers to the "Apostle's". 

And once again, the story is so horrendous it must be read to be believed. I am happy to oblige:

It seems like there is something in the water here in the bay area. Some type of microscopic organism that pushes residents into great adventures in the region’s abundant natural resources or possibly an altruistic wind that burrows into the skin, which thrust those it touches into the wild for either discovery or conservation. 

No matter what it is, the people that inhabit northwest are of a different breed. 

For example, Bayfield’s John Murphy, who just returned from a week long 84-mile kayaking trip through the Apostle Islands, and he did it all in an inflatable kayak. 

Murphy, 53, is now retired and lives in Bayfield, working as a part time fitness instructor and operating Super Horizons, a kayak rental and sea caves tour establishment. 

The recently retired kayaker moved to Bayfield a few years ago from Houston, Texas, though he originally hails from Racine, Wis. 

His kayaking journey stemmed from an itch for a challenge and an underlying need for a self-journey or vision quest, says Murphy. 

Murphy is an avid kayaker and prefers to use an Innova Helios II, which is an inflatable kayak. His preference earns him the jest of quite a lot of locals, “Well those things are toys, they’re not safe,” says Murphy. “I tell them, well your kayak has a better chance of breaking then mine does ripping open.”

With an itch for adventure, Murphy being well experienced in adventure races down south, decided, “Well, I take people out so I said, you know what, I’m gonna do all these islands in a week.”

From there he set out planning his route and adventure. After mapping his route, which weaved between over 15 different islands and asking locals when the best time to try to accomplish this would be, he decided to set out mid day on Sept. 11 out of Myers Beach just northeast of Cornucopia.

Murphy made it to York Island before camping out for the night. Though a difficult task the kayaker was well prepared, “I had a concept of how to pace myself, when to eat and when to hydrate,” said Murphy. “I had my CamelBak I’d take sips out of and I’d eat something every 30 minutes.”

Along with his kayak and camping supplies, Murphy carried a marine radio and a handheld satellite phone to check in with his wife every night. 

Due to nasty weather midway through the trip Murphy was forced to camp out on Ironwood Island for two nights until everything cleared up. The next day he made it to Michigan Island and spent the night, the next day’s trek would prove to be the hardest part of his journey.

Michigan Island to Long Island was somewhat of a home stretch for the kayaker though it was the longest part of his journey at over 20 miles. 

“Being that the kayak is higher than a normal one the winds really tossed me around,” said Murphy. “The waves were about five feet, though they were exciting it was kind of spooky, but with the inflatable it’s very encouraging because it will float. I never felt like I was going to tip over in it.”

The wind and sheer distance took its toll on Murphy but he soldiered on. “I was heading west and had a southwest wind and my bearing was 15 degrees off so I could keep myself on target.” said Murphy.

After 7 days and eight hours Murphy finally reached Bayview Park at 8:30 p.m. on Sept. 18, completing his 84-mile journey. 

According to locals and his knowledge, Murphy figures he is the first person in this short of time, to hit all these islands and do so in an inflatable kayak. 

“The best part was discovering the islands, the national park services do a great job maintaining their campsites.” said Murphy. 

Whether it be something in the water, or the simple fact that people here are just bred differently, northwest Wisconsin adds another person and story to its long list of accomplished adventurous outdoors men and women. 

NOTES: It's Meyers Beach, dumbass. And how many times does he tell the readers the guy lives in Bayfield?! Three, by my count. Other numerous offenses include misuse of commas, missing hyphenation, clueless punctuation and run-on sentences. And don't forget the "Racine, Wis." reference, contrary to AP Style. Aaughh!!

The other front-page travesty is penned by the old Reekster and it's one of his favorite topics: synthetic drugs. For the umpteenth time he trots out that tired "whack-a-mole" quote he has taken to attributing to DA Kelly McKnight, although I am pretty sure it was first uttered by Circuit Court Judge Robert Eaton.

Here are a few of the article's lowlights:

"...are sold indiscriminately over the county in head shops, gas stations and convenience stores."

I believe the phrase is "over the counter." LOL

"...whenever one substance is banned, the synthetics manufacturers which to a slightly different drug molecule, evading the state law."

Evidently some drug makers would rather fight than "which." ;-)

"Currently, a bi-partisan group of legislators is seeking to overcome the short fallings of the original legislation, and has proposed new legislation, which has not as yet been introduced as a bill in either house of the legislature."

"Short fallings"? Really?!! Between all of the legislators, legislation and legislature, my head is spinning. Not to mention "bipartisan" is not supposed to be hyphenated and Legislature is always supposed to be capitalized.  

“We’ll see.” He said.

Say what?! LOL

Misc. offenses: He refers to Rep. Nick Milroy as being from Superior when I know damn well he lives in South Range, and he again calls McKnight the "Ashland District Attorney" rather than Ashland County DA. The story's jumphead is jammed right up under the page header and the descenders rest right on top of the copy. Yuk!

Contributing causes of death:

A submitted photo on Page 3 of the recent Walk to School Day event bears the extremely obvious and pedestrian (pun intended) teaser: WALKING TO SCHOOL IN THE RAIN

Page 5 has a lengthy submitted article and photo about a new business in Ashland. Um gee, maybe this should have been saved for the Business Monday page, which has been hurting for local copy for weeks now. DUH!! 

The Milestones page has the exact same birth announcement that already ran on Friday. Ah-hah! Upon closer inspection, it's not the same. Apparently, a set of grandparents was omitted. Of course, there's no way of knowing if the family made the mistake or if the paper did, but the way they corrected it is pretty sloppy: 

Grandparents are Charles and Jean Whiting of Ashland and Kevin and Janice Greene of Ashland and Larry and Kathy Evenson. 

Too lazy to add a comma and take out the second "and," plus no town listed for the final set of grandparents that they just tacked on to the end of the sentence.

I noticed this little gem in the Area Reports about the Discover Wisconsin crew's two-day visit to the area next week: Secretary of the Department of Tourism Stephanie Klett will now not be attending either event due to an unexpected incident. I had to laugh after Jones made such a big deal out of her coming here in his dreadful story in Thursday's paper. (Just went back and checked and this item appeared in Friday's paper as well, meaning the very next day after Jones trumpeted Klett's visit, she had already canceled it. LMAO!!)

BTW: That wedding announcement for "Brandon and Rachel" ran again Friday because they had the first name of the bride's mother wrong. Again, hard telling who is at fault, but if it was the newspaper's error it is really pathetic because at four sentences, that was one of the shortest wedding announcements ever.

Here's the Dear Abby headline as it appears:

Husbands nonstop nature wears 

on wife’s patience

And yes, the second deck only goes over two columns rather than four. And yes, hell has completely frozen over because Abby is actually on the Milestones page!

Page 10 has a story from the Spooner Advocate about a fire destroying the Town of Gordon fire station on Thursday. I saw this on the 5:30 p.m. Duluth TV news Thursday. The awful cutline reads: Gordon Fire Station destroyed by fire/explosions  No period (evidently a Spooner specialty) and the use of a slash instead of the word "and." Blech!! 

The story is penned by Frank Zufall, who must have attended the Reek Duhleavo School of Journalism, graduating with honors. Check out this lede:

Explosions inside the Gordon Fire Station and the resultant fire destroyed the station and all of the fire trucks and equipment early Thursday afternoon, Sept. 19, in the town of Gordon, Douglas County.

"Resultant"?! I believe the word is "resulting." And it should be "Town of Gordon" and why would you use both the day of the week and the date? Not to mention listing the county!

One more fun excerpt:

The first report said the fire and explosions were the result of lighting from a storm front that had moved into the area...

Sigh. Why is it so difficult for people to spell "lightning"?!! 

There are two subheads in the story which the paginators ignored, so they appear in regular body copy, justified left. Near the end of the article, Zufall (I wonder if they changed the family's name from Pufall at Ellis Island?) refers to replacement equipment arriving "before the end of the week," drawing further attention to the days-old nature of this literally "late"-breaking story.

Pages 11 and 12 are the usual Health Matters debacle, with the second page being completely filled with StatePointless crap. The story kicker on the first item advises readers that "REPURPOSING LEFTOVER IS ONE KEY TO NO-FUSS COOKING". Apparently only one leftover is all that is required! And why is this on a health page anyway?

Oh well, here endeth our tale of woe. FYI: The newsroom is no longer "expanding" because they finally stopped running that stupid ad. Maybe they are going to make Heidi start writing the Business Mondays on top of everything else. :-(

Signed,

Vicious Yet Vivacious Vivisectionist

Long time no write

This post is dedicated to Lynne, Stan, Pam and anyone else who still bothers 

to check this site after such a lengthy silence. 

The positive changes that had occurred at my now former job all went to hell in a handbasket after the departure May 31 of our fine editor, Richard Pufall. The situation deteriorated to the point where it became unsustainable and I felt it prudent to resign before I suffered a nervous breakdown. 

Rather than attempt to detail the collapse of Ashland's once great newspaper in this single post, I direct your attention to my now infamous radio interview in which I and two other former employees of The Daily Press discuss some of the many ways in which American Consolidated Media managed to run northern Wisconsin's only daily newspaper into the ground. Follow this link and all will be revealed: http://kuws.fm/ You will have to click on "Final Edition" (on the left) and then select the July 12th program from the list. You'll see my name under that date. Apparently there is no direct link to that particular broadcast. Enjoy!

Besides the loss of my job, it's been a rough year in many other ways: a serious case of bacterial pneumonia nearly took me out in January, a good friend died under what can only be described as suspicious circumstances in April, a close friend and former co-worker moved back to Michigan in July, my brother Tommy passed away in August, and now the house I am living in is for sale, leaving my continued residency in this apartment up for grabs. Sigh. As Tony Soprano would say, "Whaddaya gonna do?" 

So far I am surviving on a wing and a prayer and with a lot of help from my awesome friends, especially Robin and Carolyn. I am doing a little freelance writing and editing, including working on the 2014 visitors guide for Paducah, Ky., and hoping like hell I find a job soon. I really want to stay in Ashland, but that may not be possible. The prospect of moving is something I have tried to avoid contemplating, but we shall see.

I am not making any promises, mind you, but I will try to write again soon. Catch ya on the flip side, folks.