Here is how the story of my frozen pipes ended...
I am too tired to go into the whole thing right now, but the kitchen pipes are "unfrozen" as G's note says. However, the sonuvabitch took my space heater! I couldn't find it anywhere when I got home from work and there was no mention of it in the note he left on the kitchen counter.
I called Mrs. B and she said she was so glad I called cuz G has my heater. Yeah, lady, no kidding! Oh, but it's not turned on, she assures me, he just has it plugged in under the house in case he needs it. I was like, WTF?! The mayor appropriated my heater!!!! I have no recourse to the law! I mean, what am I gonna do? Call the cops? I can just imagine that conversation. "Ma'm, can you provide us with a description of the thief?" "Yes, officer. He's right here on the inside cover of this visitors guide." LMAO
Mrs. B tells me G had to crawl way under the house to place the heater and doesn't want to have to do that again. OK, I can understand that since that crawlspace could've been used as the setting for the Klaus Kinski movie of the same name. You couldn't pay me to crawl in there. (Hell, that's probably where the rabid bats hang out!) However, I still cannot fathom why he couldn't have told me that in his post-it note and spared me the trouble of hunting all over the house for it.
signed,
Befuddled Resident of the Strangest Little Town in Iowa County
PS. Mrs. B, who is notoriously cheap (how cheap, you ask? well, let me put it this way, she makes Jack Benny look like a spendthrift!), offered to buy me a new one. Gee, wasn't that big of her? Can't wait to see what she comes up with. Here, rub these two sticks together before you take a shower! ;-)
No comments:
Post a Comment